Leslie said that he had a flat face and the game of Dance Dance Revolution

Leslie said that he had a flat face and the game of Dance Dance Revolution

When we stepped inside the tempura restaurant, we were led to a private room which was a traditional Japanese style tatami room. As we were looking at the menu book and trying to decide what to order, Leslie said, “Let’s order a variety of dishes and share them around so that we can taste many different kinds of foods!” Whenever Leslie ordered dishes, he would say “Let’s share!” Maybe it is concept peculiar to the Chinese when ordering food at restaurants. If the dish he was having is tasty, he would always share it with others. He would say, “This is tasty! Why don’t you try?” And he would ask others, “Can I have that?” and grab a bite of it to eat. The most popular dish for us on that day was a fresh shrimp tempura Leslie had ordered. We ate it seasoned with natural salt as soon as they were fried and served. It was so tasty on the first bite that Leslie was amazed showing extreme bliss on his face and exclaimed, “Wow, absolutely scrumptious!!” Leslie then served it to us saying “This is the best!”

At first we chatted cheerfully while dining on tempura and drinking sake, Japanese rice wine, but gradually Leslie began to spit his anger and grudge against the Hong Kong media that had built up inside him in the course of time. When he talked about the article, “Kiss on the street in Ginza”, he seemed to be very angry and fed up from the bottom of his heart. He said, “As a matter of fact, why should I come all the way to Japan to kiss a man who was a stranger to me? They said there was a witness! What? Where on earth did such a story come from? Then they asked me with a grin if it was true? How could anyone think it’s true? It is totally absurd!” Leslie was grieving as he said, “I don’t understand why HK media tries to hurt me so much. Did I ever do anything bad to them?” He then continued, “If Hong Kong is trying to defile me, I would rather get out of Hong Kong. Yes, I no longer feel any sense of attachment to Hong Kong. I am fed up with all of these things. There is nothing good for me!” He kept on complaining for a long time. Then Mr. Tong, who was listening to Leslie silently beside him, yawned heavily and leaned down suddenly on his back. Leslie looked at him and said angrily, “Why are you doing such a thing? I am speaking in earnest” Mr. Tong said boringly, “Well you always kept saying the same things. I am sick of hearing them!” At this we could not help bursting into laughter. Anyway Leslie seemed to think it was enough said on the subject and changed his topic of the conversation.

I could understand Mr.Tong’s feeling because those who listened to Leslie’s talk would be different people every time but he as Leslie’s constant companion was the only one who was always there listening to the same story and this was why he was sick and tired of hearing it. Thinking about Mr.Tong’s situation, I felt rather amused in spite of my sympathy for Leslie.

When we were paying our bill at the restaurant, a lady who appeared to be the shop proprietress, came to us and said, “That person is Mr. Leslie Cheung, isn’t he? It is such a surprise!” I thought it was natural for her to be surprised. If I were in her place, I also would be very surprised just like her. After leaving the restaurant, we strolled along aimlessly around the night time Ginza and ended up at Hibiya. There we went into a coffee shop in the Imperial Hotel to have a cup of tea before going back to the hotel. While he was browsing through a magazine there, Leslie talked about how hard it was to become popular on Japanese TV. When he came to Japan to promote the movie, “Moonlight Express”, he was offered to give a great number of interviews but he managed to reduce the number by half saying he would die if he had accepted all of them. He said, “If you want to be famous in Japan, you’ve got to have a lot of exposures by attending countless interviews and appearing on every kind of media. I don’t have such a desire or the physical strength anymore. It is simply not possible! As for Takeshi Kaneshiro, he is trying hard here in Japan. I am also very curious as to the efforts that Kelly Chen or Faye Wong will have to make in Japan in the future.”

Leslie knew a lot about Japanese entertainers. His everlasting stars in old days were Ken Takakura and Sayuri Yoshinaga. It was well known that he was a fan of Momoe Yamaguti. Momoe seemed to be still an idol for him even after her marriage. He said jokingly, “Do you know where her house is? If I visit her, do you think she would give me her autograph?” He smiled and also said, “SMAP is very popular in Hong Kong. What makes them great is that the group comprised of members such as Takuya Kimura, Masahiro Nakai, each of whom is a top star by himself. It is impossible for such stars to be in the same group, as there would be nobody left if such top stars become members of the same group in Hong Kong!” When I found a picture of Yutaka Takenouti by chance in the magazine, I said to Leslie, “He looks a bit like you, doesn’t he?” Then Leslie said, “Ummm, he is handsome. Thank you for your compliment, but I am not as young as he is and I am not as handsome as he either.” Many people might associate Leslie with aestheticism and narcissism, but to my surprise, he did not seem to regard himself as handsome. On the contrary he made some statements about himself which made me wonder if he had some kind of inferior complex about his features.

According to Leslie, Mr. Tong is a handsome man with a shapely nose, but as for himself, Leslie said, “My face is rather flat without any strikingly sharp features! Many people suggested that I should go to Hollywood but I am rather petite in stature. Besides I have a typical Asian face with no rugged features so there will not be any role for me in Hollywood except that of a Chinese mafia or gangster. Chow Yuen Fatt and Jackie Chan are exceptions. Hollywood is too much for me, don't you think so?” Of course I did not answer in the positive but anyway I did not want Leslie to go to Hollywood. For me Leslie is nothing less than a true Hong Kong movie icon. I could not imagine the Hong Kong movie world without Leslie nor Leslie starring in a Hollywood movie. Concerning Chow Yuen Fatt, I remembered one thing. That night nobody recognized Leslie; neither in Ginza nor at the Imperial Hotel with the exception of only one person who had some reaction. When we were crossing at the intersection in Ginza, two persons who appeared to be white collar workers were coming from the other side. One of them looked at us and said, “Hey, did you see him? That was Chow Yuen Fatt!” When I told Leslie about this, he let out a suppressed laugh and said, “I have sometimes been mistaken for someone else when I visited Japan. I must have a very common face here but this is the first time that I have been mistaken for Chow Yuen Fatt!”

The day after the autograph event, Leslie enjoyed shopping at a department store in Nihonbashi. He said he had been looking forward to shopping around for tableware in Japan. He seemed to have found some favorites and bought a set of 6 colored big plates, medium plates, small plates, soup bowls and little bowls. The colors were very special such as bright blue, silver gray and so on. Leslie said these colors were exclusive to Japan and could not be found anywhere else. I was ashamed of my ignorance regarding this as a Japanese, but I really did not know those colors were to be found only in Japan.

When we went back to the hotel in the evening, I handed in some postcards that had been enclosed in letters collected from his fans during the autograph event. I asked him to sign them. I felt sorry for him because he was very tired after the 1000 signatures but he cheerfully agreed. There were some letters with this request for Leslie, “Please sign this picture and send it back to me!” but there were no postcards or pictures enclosed in the envelopes. With these requests Leslie signed his autograph on the hotel memo pad. He said, “Please send this to her!” When I complained that they would find out the hotel he was staying in spite of our strenuous effort in shaking off the chasing car, Leslie said “It will be all right as I won’t be here TOMORROW!!” and he smiled.

Let’s change the subject. After the tracking report in Hong Kong, there existed a kind of unwritten agreement between Leslie and I with regards to paying for our meals. We would take turns to foot the bill. In the beginning it was “You paid for me before, so this is my turn!” but then gradually before we knew it, taking turns to pay became a kind of understanding between us so on this day when dinner time came, Leslie said, “You are my guest tonight! I know a nice place!” He said he liked one Japanese restaurant where he was taken to on his previous visit to Japan but when I rang to make a reservation, it turned out that the restaurant was closed on that day. While we were discussing among ourselves, saying, “Well, where should we go?” I happened to remember the fact that there was no club tempura, which was Mr. Tong’s favorite, at the tempura shop we went the day before. So I suggested, “How about Club dishes? They will have club tempura also!” Then Leslie said, “Oh, that’s a good idea! I love club tempura too!” So we headed to a famous club restaurant in Roppongi. As soon as we went into the restaurant, the clerks seemed to recognize him as Leslie. After leading us to one of the private rooms, a middle aged female clerk appeared and handed me 2 square pieces of thick and nice paper asking for his autograph; one for the shop, the other for her. Leslie accepted to sign it with pleasure.

While dining on club dishes and drinking wine, Leslie told me about the memories of Mr. Tong and his childhood. He said they had been friends from the time they were mischievous little boys. They would often quarrel or fight with one another. Leslie said, “In our childhood, I would win whenever we fought, as I was bigger and stronger. Of course we don’t fight anymore now!” So I asked, “If you were to fight now, which of you would be stronger?” Mr. Tong quietly said in a small voice, “If it’s a quarrel, Leslie would be stronger, but in a real fight, I would win…” On hearing this, Leslie immediately shouted, “No way! I would win both!!” Then Mr. Tong grumbled about Leslie’s remark in a low small voice. Hearing this exchange of words between them, I could not help laughing. They were like real brothers.

When we left the shop, Leslie said he would like to go for a stroll for a while as it has been a long time since he last visited Roppongi. As he walked along, he pointed at one of the restaurants and said, “Oh, I have been to this shop!” Passing by a florist, he remarked, “Oh, I know this florist has a lot of beautiful orchids”. He was really delighted with his window-shopping.

On our way, we went into a games center. After looking around the shop, Leslie started to play one of the games, which was a simulated game of shooting down fighter aircrafts. He tried hard to shoot down the planes with his own accompanying sound effects, “Boom, bang bang!!”
However most of his shots missed the enemy airplanes resulting in a very low score. He soon lost interest in this game and moved on to the next game which was the game named ‘Dance Dance Revolution’, where they stepped on the sensor mat and danced according to the music. Leslie and Mr. Tong liked the game very much. They both tried extremely hard to score high points again and again. Mr. Tong was in the lead in this game getting much higher scores than Leslie. Perhaps Leslie was feeling a bit tipsy for his dance movements were completely out of sync with the music. He hardly scored any points. In fact his score was almost zero! Leslie performed so poorly at the game that it made me wondered if this person was indeed a real musician but of course he was because his dance was ever so graceful and cool!

The following afternoon, Leslie left for Hakone with Mr. Tong by a special train for tourists called ‘Odoriko go’. As they were about to depart on their trip, Leslie was very enthusiastic and chirpy. He said happily that they would be going up the mountain by cable car to a hot spring where they would indulge in an open air bath. He also said one of his dreams was to watch a sunrise on the horizon while soaking in a hot spring. Regrettably his dream did not materialize this time, but he told me about this trip in great detail later. They went to Gora by cable car, to Lake Asino by ropeway, took a ride on the pirate ship; they ate grilled cuttlefish and soft cream at a small stall, and so on. Their trip to Hakone was favored with fine weather. Both of them seemed to have enjoyed the trip very much.

The autograph event in Hong Kong revealed Leslie’s good organizational skills

The autograph event for 300 fans in Hong Kong was held at Page One, a book store specializing in foreign literature and art books. It commenced at 1:00 p.m. on 24th of April. On the very same day, at a CD shop in the same building, the new composition of Andy Lau was supposed to be selling for only HK$1. Thus the building outside was overcrowded with a lot of young people. This also provided a good source of news material that exactly suited the taste of the newspapers. They wrote, “Andy VS Leslie, HK$1 VS HK$400!!” I did not know the actual content of the article, but judging from the headline, I could see it was an article that would not be a pleasant one for Leslie. The building opened for business at 10:00 a.m. but very early many people had been lining up in front of the store. The number of people had reached 300 before 11:00 a.m. by which time all the books were sold out.

I arrived in Hong Kong a day before the event and on that morning I visited Leslie’s house for a while. Leslie met me with puffy eyes and I guessed he had got out of bed just before my arrival. He greeted me in feigned seriousness, “Oh, long time no see!” even though we only just said good bye in Tokyo two days ago, so I irresistibly burst out laughing.

Leslie was wearing a loose-fitting white T shirt and gray track pants. He was walking around barefoot without slippers. He said he was just having breakfast. While talking to me he brought his breakfast on a tray into the living room. On the tray there were 3 dishes and a glass of juice, which I could not make out what it was. One of dishes was grape fruit with something, the other was lingzhi mushroom (ganodema lucidum) and wood ear fungus (auriculuria auricula) soup and the last dish, I could not remember at all. Anyway all of them seemed to be healthy Chinese herbal dishes and I was impressed to know that he was taking care of his health very much. In his usual habit, Leslie asked me “Which hotel are you staying at this time?” When I answered with, “The Sheraton” he laughed and said “Every time you choose a different hotel!! You are completely different from me!” At that moment we heard a loud deafening noise from the garden so I looked in the direction from which the noise came. Leslie with knitted eyebrows complained, “Sorry, it is noisy, isn’t it? The neighbor’s house is being renovated. It started early this morning, so I could not sleep in.” I was rather amused that we were having such an ordinary conversation. Then I found the photo book lying on the table. Regarding the photo book I realized that I had not asked his assessment of it. When I first showed him the book in Tokyo, he had voiced his opinions on the effects of the finished print. He pointed out that on the whole the tone of the book was a bit too reddish and there was a small amount of chromatic aberration on some facing pages. However he had not made any comment on the contents whatsoever so I asked him for an appraisal of the book.

“You have arranged this book for Japanese fans…” With this as a preliminary statement, Leslie then continued, “On that point of view, this is a very nice and perfect book. I like it.” I continue to ask him, “And besides this point of view?” Leslie answered, “Well my point is, I like this book as it is, but it is rather an all round book because of the intention of this project. I mean this book is a kind of an introduction or a beginner’s book. So I would like to follow this up with an intermediate and an advanced level book. For example, for the intermediate book the theme could be based on travels or hobbies. As for the advanced level, all the photos would be taken inside the studio with unconventional shots for that ‘avant-garde’ feel. How about it? What do you think of such kinds of photo book?”

Honestly speaking, a photo book of Leslie on the theme of travels or hobbies did not interest me very much but I was attracted to the idea of an avant-garde photo book of Leslie. Leslie would be an ideal camera subject for such a book. I said, “I like the one with the avant-garde concept. I want to make the book with monochrome photography.” Leslie’s eyes grew radiant and he said, “Black and white photography, it sounds nice. Comes with a little bit of firm feeling would be nice!” Thereupon we started to discuss about this dream book of the future for a while.

The intermediate book that Leslie had mentioned in our discussions materialized two and half years later with the publication of the photo book, “Leslie In China”. However the advanced book of which we were most excited about would never materialize forever. I still sometimes indulge in fantasies of monochromic pictures of an uninhibited Leslie with his soft body brimming with eternal youthfulness appearing in front of the camera without any hesitation. With his shining eyes he teases me with flirtatious glances; then he would say, “Hey, how would you like me to pose for you? How do you like these poses?”

The autograph event at the Page One was a very casual one. Above all Leslie did not seem tense or anxious at all. Looking at Leslie I thought it was interesting to observe how he was able to relax completely on home ground. The long queue of people lining along the corridor and up the stairs were kept in an orderly manner by the building security guards.

Inside the shop, the shop owner, clerks of Page One and our staff took charge. However it could be said that Leslie was in fact taking care of all the reception arrangement for the event himself. After signing his autograph, he shook hands with his fans; occasionally he chatted briefly with them and even let them take pictures with him if he was asked. Then when he finished with one person, then he moved onto the next person in line by calling out “Ok, next!” If the person did not come quickly, he beckoned her saying, “Hurry up, hurry up!” Leslie used to say that he preferred project planning or organizing events to being a leading actor or a guest. He said, “Actually I am very good at this!”

Watching Leslie on that night, I could understand what he meant but honestly speaking, I wanted him to behave like a real star for the fans that had been waiting for him for hours, since I think the aura would inevitably get weaker when a star takes on the role of an organizer or a staff. As I mentioned before, this event specifically excluded the news media which meant the reporters were barred from the hall; however because the shop was glassed-in on all sides, they surrounded the shop on the outside to take pictures. At times the bright flashing light from cameras triggered a big ‘bang’ outside and at such time Leslie glared at them sharply. The next day every newspaper had the pictures of Leslie in the glassed-in hall with sensational headings such as “Leslie rejects all interviews!” “Leslie maintains his silence for fear of being asked about the ‘kissing’ incident on the streets of Ginza!” If Leslie had spoken to them, his words would have been reported with exaggeration yet when he refused to speak to them, they condemned him for refusing interviews. In any case I felt that it must be very hard for him. On the other hand, I was also very impressed with his toughness that had sustained his coexistence with such kind of media for more than 20 years.

The Unfinished Movie and the Illusionary Movie-Making Book

On our last day in Hong Kong, following the completion of the autograph event and the post function activities conducted between the shop, Page One and the Japanese agency, Leslie invited us to dinner at a restaurant named Fook Lam Moon. Leslie would like to conclude the wrap-up book launch of ‘All about Leslie’, started last fall, with a celebratory party. Fook Lam Moon was one of Leslie’s favorite restaurants so naturally he knew all the staff in the shop. There appeared to be many acquaintances of Leslie dining at different tables here and there at the restaurant so it took him quite a while to greet all of them, all of which proved very interesting to me. One of the groups in particular, seated at the third table from ours, seemed to be his relatives and the small boys that were of kindergarten age, I guessed, came to our table. They were all over Leslie, hugging and hanging on his arms. Leslie seemed to cherish them very much and he was stroking their heads and smiling while being fawned upon by them.

When the kids went back to their table, we were finally able to propose a toast. We toasted many times saying “Here’s to our book!” “Here’s to the autograph event!” and so on. I knew Leslie and I had to say good bye very soon. Also I did not know when, where and what kind of situation we would meet again next time so therefore I had a lot of things to talk about with Leslie. I was sure that Leslie shared the same feeling as well for he also had a lot to say. For this reason we were deeply engrossed in our conversation without noticing the passing of time. To tell you the truth, most of what we had talked about at that time had already started to fade from my memory, but I will try my best to recollect all that Leslie was thinking and planning to do at that time.

In the evening of the autograph event, Leslie was one of the presenters at the Hong Kong Film Awards Presentation ceremony. I was watching him on TV in my hotel room. Leslie dressed in a white suit appeared on stage with Faye Wong to present an award. After saying a few words, he turned around doing a full circle murmuring something. I had no idea as to what he was saying because I could not understand a word. I thought he was enjoying whatever he was doing. I was also impressed by Maggie Cheung for she had become refined and beautiful so I told Leslie about my impression of the presentation ceremony. Then as usual Leslie began to pour out a torrent of words like the firing of a machine-gun. Firstly, he told me what the Hong Kong Film Awards was, why he was there, what he had said to Faye Wong, why he turned around, who won the awards and his opinions about them. He disclosed all these things in one breath; then he suddenly lowered his voice and said, “Actually there was a risky moment there!” Leslie said he almost bumped into Mr. Wong Kar Wai. Backstage when Leslie was walking back to the waiting room, Wong Kar Wai had just come out of the room. They would have crossed paths but Leslie spotted him first and he hid himself behind the curtains. Leslie gesticulated excitedly as he related the incident as if he were telling an adventure story. I asked him, “Don’t you want to see him?” He answered smiling awkwardly, “No, not for the time being. I would be uncomfortable if I meet him now.” It was an undeniable fact that Leslie valued Wong Kar Wai as a director and respected him, but it was also true that a major rift had developed between them over the schedule of their movie, “Happy Together” with both of them still harbouring a little ill-feeling towards each other. However I could sense Leslie’s love for the director in his conversations here and there, so I thought it was just like a quarrel between two brothers that are on very good terms.

As soon as I mentioned my impression of about Maggie Cheung being beautiful, Leslie agreed with a big nod and said, “I was also taken by surprise when I met her in the hall. Not only has she become very beautiful but her acting has improved a lot since she went to France. She used to be a kind of unpolished gemstone but now has become a precious jewel. I think this is not only because she went to France but also because she has been freed from the chains and shackles of a narrow-minded Hong Kong and now she is able to do as she pleases. She also has a very good relationship with her boy friend. She has made a really good decision!”

Leslie looked envious while he was talking about Maggie. Suddenly one scene from the movie, “The Days of Being Wild” came to my mind and it was the scene of Yuddy dying on the train. Maggie could fly freely in the sky and has found a perfect place to land; on the other hand Leslie, the bird with no legs, could not find his perfect landing place. At that time I wished he could fly freely and find a peaceful place to land someday.

If my memory is correct, the main topic between us was the movie which was supposed to be directed by Leslie. To be more precise, it was a photo book on the making of Leslie’s movie. Leslie became very serious and said to me, “Are you sure you are able to make enough profit from this book, ‘All about Leslie’?” “Certainly I am!!” I answered promptly and added half jokingly, “I am not exactly sure right now, but I am sure I will. At least I can make enough money to afford to invite you to a trip to a hot spring!” Then Leslie came to nearer to me and said with his voice lowered, “I am touched by your kindness, but don’t waste money like that! If you invite me to a trip, you will make no profit as a business, right? Instead will you consider investing the money on my next book that I am thinking about now?” “What do you mean by investment?” I could not understand what he meant, so I did not know how to react. Then he began to explain his plan. According to his explanation, he is going to direct his first movie soon and the movie will be a love story. The scene of the movie will be set in Hong Kong and Taiwan. He wanted to be in charge of every detail of the movie himself according to his intention from beginning to end. One of his ideas was a photo book on the making of the movie. He had already planned out the plot and had the visual images about the book in his head. He said, “So if possible I would like to have you beside me to record the report on the shooting of the film. The film shooting in Taiwan will take 2 or 3 weeks and I want you to be there with me, too. As for taking photos, I can ask a cameraman in Hong Kong if it is difficult for you to arrange schedules. What I meant by the word, investment, is I cannot guarantee the degree of profitability that you will get from this book, as this book won’t be a Leslie Cheung photo book. I won’t be acting in this movie but only directing it. However I am confident in making a good film and I want to make a book about it which will attract the people who are not my fans. What do you think about it? Can you help me?” Of course I could not give him a prompt answer, but I could feel his passion for this project so I thought I would like to help him as much as possible. Actually I had no idea of the marketability of these books without Leslie’s pictures in them, but I wanted to invest in him as a director. Leslie said he had almost finished writing the screenplay and was looking for companies that would be interested to invest in his movie. These prospective investors were mostly Hong Kong, Japanese and Korean companies. However each company somewhat stipulated its own conditions, so it would be difficult to fulfill all of them. There were no investors who would part with their money without any conditions attached. Leslie talked about the content of the film with great enthusiasm. He said he wanted to start filming immediately if possible but after carefully considering the situation, I foresee there could be a lot of hurdles to overcome on his way to his own movie. I said to Leslie, “Please contact me as soon as the commencement date for shooting is fixed. I will do my best. We will discuss the details further when the time comes!” On hearing this, Leslie answered with his eyes shining like e a mischievous kid, “OK! I will definitely be in touch with you when the time comes. Don’t you run away and you’d better ‘psyche yourself up’ for me by then!” I have no idea what took place in the following days but since then, this project that was to be Leslie’s directorial debut had surfaced and vanished, rose and submerged several times. In the end, Leslie’s movie that he had been so eager to make will never materialize forever. The movie photo book ended up only as an illusion of our conversation.

Now that Leslie is gone, I wonder where would be the best place to bury his passionate and unfinished dream for his movie and the movie script that he that he had rewritten tens of times to polish it. When I think of all his wishes and aspirations he had left behind, one by one turning into unfulfilled dreams tinged with regret I cannot suppress the feeling of deep pain and sorrow in my heart as well as feeling pity for him.